Hey kara this is josh i dont think we finished our conversation fully so i was wondering if you would give me your email so that we could further talk.( b/c i dont think we're allowed to post numbers on here)

6/18/12
The Name Game

Today in class we were asked to learn about another classmates name. To me, this assignment was rather simple and uncomplicated. My fascination with names run's deep in my desire to give my own children names with actual meaning, rather than do like my mother did and give them names from movies. So I have been researching for a while about my name and my families, learning all I can to better understand my heritage. Upon turning to my partner who politely and kindly asked if I would care to work with her, I found that she didn't have my fascination with names but still had a good story to tell.
Firstly, there wasn't any quite specific reason she was named the name "Kayley" except for that it is a combination of her mothers and sisters name. Kayley enjoys her name, because no one spells it quite like she does and she likes the speciality that her name spelling represents. Upon my asking if she would ever like to change her name, she stated that if she could she would like to be called Ricky, because she likes how girls can have guy names but still be feminine, and the names themselves can still have a feminine touch.
It was when we got to her last name that my interest was truly sparked. Having a jewish heritage myself, when she unveiled the plot line involving her last name I left wondering more, wanting more details. I shall not state the name, for obvious reasons, but she told me that the pronunciation of her last name was changed after WWII when her ancestors came to America. Being Jewish, they had faced the holocaust and concentration camps, and to avoid being associated with Germans and the Holocaust itself, they took away the German lilt to their last name without really taking away the spelling. It was interesting to me, as mentioned due to my own heritage and also my extreme historical interest in the happenings of WWII. The last name itself is her fathers, apparently she is happy with this because she doesn't like her moms last name.
Hard work and lovely!

Things I Am Excited For:

This summer I am outrageously excited for my birthday. I turn 16 in 12 days and I've honestly been looking forward to my party for months. We rented out a pavilion and it's going to be 70's themed, and I'll just really be glad to spend time with my friends. I really can't wait to see two people who are flying down from the east coast. My best friend Clara, who I haven't seen since last summer, and someone special I haven't seen since February. Clara flies down on the 27th and the other person flies down on the 26th. I can't even describe how happy I am to see them again. It means more than the world, but the whole damn universe. Texas, isn't where I belong. I belong where tree's match up to skyscrapers in size and water runs like brown/blue veins in the land. I hate the dry land, how it soaks up the sun but not the rain, and I hate most of what this state stands for. I can't wait to have a piece of home.

Brain Reflection:

The different parts of the brain contain different parts of the aspect of my being. My fear of doctors roots in my emotional side, due to surgery that has permanently scarred me mentally and physically. My firm knowledge of certain political details and other irrelevant information stays safely in my facts section. My daily skills that I acquired first at a young age, the ones I use for debate and class, stay directly in my motor skills section. And my habits of touching my hair when upset or nervous stay exactly as they should, in my habits section. Yet, they are all connected. And might one day could they be altered? To create a better, more perfect, more adapted being? Could that also be used to create the perfect soldier? Is that even morally correct?
Interesting thoughts

Negatives:

My problems in my neighborhood consist of the people next door, and the many many kids and stray cats that also choose to inhabit the area I live.
To start off, my neighbors cut their grass once every 2 months and park their cars in front of our house. If that wasn't annoying enough, they ran a dang boxing class out of their garage for months until enough people complained that they were shut down. The loud buzzer was the worst, and the many cars that parked outside to watch the fights created a loud and crowded environment. Then, they began to throw raging parties with a booming bass, as I was trying to sleep. This is a major problem because, you know, girl has to sleep. After that there are the children. Screaming, crying little ones. Annoying and bratty older ones. And other high school kids who speed and squeal their tires and blast even louder music than my neighbors, who at least have brick walls to hold back the noise. Finally, there are the cats. The cats that walk in the street and have fights at 1am, hissing and yowling like you're in the back alley of a horror movie.

Mexican White-Boy: First 50 pages

The opening scene is that of a lower class Mexican area, where a girl named Sofia is dressed in "OG swag" and leading her cousin Danny over to meet her friends. Sofia is rather loud, unafraid, and speaks whatever she wants to say. She calls her friends a derogatory name in the opening line, and her friends act as this is normal, so it is assumed that it is just how these girls talk to each other. Sofia's friends immediately began to flirt with Danny, who is a year younger than Sofia. To stereotype the male gender, most men would have reacted to this with the same attention and comments as these girls were making. But Danny only felt the need to disappear, to "become an ant on the asphalt, totally off the radar." This gives off the impression that Danny is quiet and shy, not really interested in most things boys of a certain age are interested in. Danny begins to talk of his background, how he didn't fit in back in San Diego, where most Mexicans like himself are illegal and doing under the table jobs to keep hiding out. And yet, because he is also half white, compared to the people in Mexico he feels a shade lighter, almost albino compared to their dark skin. It is then revealed that Danny does a form of self harm, digging his nail into his skin until he bleeds. He says that it makes him feel real. This probably means that most of the time he feels unimportant or nonexistent. The next major character to be introduced is Uno. Uno is half mexican, half black for lack of better term. He feels the need to upkeep his image, as first proved when he replies easily with slander with even better retorts that not only make him look good but boost his reputation. Uno is playing in the "neighborhood derby" of stick ball, a game similar to baseball in most aspects. The game is run where each player puts two dollars in the pot, who ever makes the most home runs wins the game. You are only allowed two outs. Uno is determined as all hell to win the pot this year, That is, until Danny comes along. Shy Danny only observes, which he enjoys doing, but Sofia convinces him and the other guys to let him play. He goes along with it, nervous but letting himself be peddled into it via Sofia. From the get-go the racial slurs begin, where Uno calls Danny "GQ" because of his surfer style and lighter color skin showing off the fact he is of higher social class. Danny figures out of the ball is being thrown the first two times Uno pitches, but by the third throw he hits a huge homerun. He hits two more after that, causing Uno to begin throwing wild balls so that he doesn't win the pot. Because of this, Danny's nerve's kick in and he ends up sending the bat instead of the ball flying into the air, where it hit's Uno's little brother. Uno then knocks Danny out cold, and while Danny is out he thinks about his Dad. His dad who left 3 years ago. We discover Danny has some major daddy issues, that he idolizes his father for his mexican heritage and is convinced that due to the whiteness of himself and his mother, that his Dad left. After that, we learn another important fact. Uno also has some major daddy issues. Being half black and half mexican, Uno too feels caught between the two races. He idolizes his father as well, and takes in every word he says as wisdom that he should be retaining. This is where we learn why Uno wants to win the pot so bad. His dad (Senior) says Uno can come live with him if he raises $500-$600. To me, this seems suspicious. But Senior is a rather suspicious character. A former gangster with a rap sheet the size of a person's full body, who reformed once he accepted Jesus into his life. But by the time he did, being a gangster was a habit and it is shown in the way he speaks and talks and threatens Uno's mom when she breaks up Seniors and Uno's talking session. Now, the fact that Uno and Danny are both stuck between two worlds is probably not a coicidence and I can already feel will be an important part of the story awaiting ahead.
Another binding factor between Uno and Danny is they both are not close with their mothers. As mentioned, Danny mostly blames his mom for his father leaving. And Uno despises the way his mother tries to keep Uno and Senior separate. There seems to be a lot of hero worship for their fathers, and self pity for themselves happening. I am rather curious to know what major event happens next.

Good reading and valuable comments

6/19/12
Journal #2:

The only thing on my mind this morning is FOOD. Such a simple, viable thing in our society like it's concept of EATING such a wonderful creation. I know I don't look like one for eating a lot, or even often, but I try to, My meals may be small portioned, and I eat slower than the first snowflake falls, but I savor every little flavor like you might notice the little things about a person. Then I let it all come together as a whole, so each flavor combines to create a masterpiece that would make a poet cry and an artist weep. Food is truly an art of sorts, most definitely the most fun art, as instead of staring or listening or reading you are biting into, tasting, and swallowing. Filling empty bellies to fill an empty soul is a codependent idea but it is often indulged, especially by those who enjoy chocolate.

To Move From America:

Having done a big move myself almost two years ago to Texas, I understand the difficulties of moving. And at the time in which I moved, there was the option of going out of the country to New Zealand or Australia. So, when faced with writing down the difficulties of moving to another country I wrote the basics. If I moved to Australia, nothing would be what it is now. I would not be who I am now, having not met the people who changed me or had the experiences that moved me to who I am today. Then, I wouldn't of met the person I currently love. People scoff at teenage love, but I don't know. I always thought it was more pure when it's real at this age, because this is the age before work and money and all the other influences come in that cause most of the troubles in today's relationships. I thought about how not having the Aussie accent would make me an outcast, not knowing the lingo and never having stepped foot in Australia before. I thought about the culture, the food and lingo and types of people would be so different from anything I had ever been used to, and thus I would experience a huge shock to my poor american born and raised system. Then, just to be funny, I thought about how in that sun everyone would be tan and I would be sitting there like... "Hi, I'm a ginger and I've already almost had skin cancer, you guys are nuts, I'm staying inside." Making myself the only white WHITE person, or one of the few. I think the only positive I could think of was the positive I got from moving to Texas. I learned to be independent. I was really codependent before moving, but now I am able to function without constant need for approval or compliments or someone else there to guide me along.

Pictures - Tea with Milk

I think I guessed the general plot line of the book well, based upon the pictures. I guessed she was raised in America with the mix of cultures of her parents and her friends, then moved back to China where she was miserable. I properly guessed her going to school where she didn't fit in and the arranged married. I guessed that she ran off, but not that she got a job in the city. I guessed she got a better job when she surrounded by the businessmen. I guessed she fell in love with the guy she was leaving the cafe with and that she ended up in love and happy.

Narrative:

My absolute favorite person is my best friend Fatima. Fatima is about 5'3", with long black wavy hair and dark brown heyes. She has high cheekbones and a nice build that has slimmed down from childhood chub to sloping curves over the years. Fatima speaks 2 languages, Urdu and English. This fact has always given her trouble in English class, because she speaks Urdu at home and English practically everywhere else, so her mind gets confused and mixes up words and spelling. We have been friends since the 4th grade, where I was placed in her class upon my second year inside that elementary school. A few things that make her my favorite person? She is funny, smart, and as stated, is my best friend.
Fatima is beyond funny, though it takes some time to understand her sense of humor. It is often random, filled with made up words or words created on accident when her tongue tricked her and tried to combine Urdu and English. And yet, her mistakes are her funniest because everyone's automatic reaction (including hers) is confusion then laughter. Her kindness and humor is ever reaching, as she always uses humor to extend her kindness. Someone is sad? She will talk it out with them and then say something so completely off the wall that it will leave you in stitches. I believe her and I are most funny together though, because our sense of humors bounce off each other to make a collage that could entertain almost anyone with a semblance of laughter in their hearts. I am sarcastic, twisted, slightly perverted, and very teasing. She is random, occasionally perverted, and sometimes childish in a way that you won't hear from normal teenagers. I'll make a sarcastic comment, maybe say something in reference to a person or place we do not like, and she will say something like "It's such a poop!" in a voice so loud and angry that you can't help but laugh at such an immature statement said in such a sincerely angry tone.
Fatima is also amazingly smart. Though it doesn't always reflect in her grades, she has knowledge of culture and social events that very much proceeds that of her peers. She may not be able to write correctly or think mathematically all the time, but when you ask her what is the difference between certain cultures and religions she can answer without a problem. Being a Muslim raised in a Christian dominated area, with a slight bollywood/hindu influence, she can speak of the differences and similarities between most of the major religions within the world today. An added heritage of Judaism helps influence this as well. She was raised to believe at the end of the day, we are all worshipping a same basic God but with different teachings of different prophets. I have always believed this as well, that there is one divine being that is the creator, and then there are the many prophets to follow. In my mind, this represents major intelligence, because I think one of the most idiotic things people do in society is use religion as a divider. A person's religion does not make them any more or less a human being, and thus it shouldn't be what separates one person from another. It's nice to have someone who thinks as I do, like Fatima does.
Finally, Fatima is just my best friend. We have grown up together, lived through it together, the hardest time's in our life yet. Through both of our parents separation, her parents current divorce, boys, family, depression, abuse. It's hasn't been the funnest life to live, but her and I have grown together as people. We have both learned and come to the way we are now, where we BOTH feel most comfortable and our friendship is stronger now than it is ever, despite the fact she lives far away now. I can't think of anyone else I would rather have by my side than that girl, who is ever constant in my life in the past 8 years. She is the only person I trust 100%, the only person who has never lied or hurt me or treated me bad. She will always have a special place in my heart as my utmost best friend, and I have a good feeling it will never change.

Pages 50-100:

A few things you learn in these next 50 pages are the reason Danny is with his his family this summer is his mom's boyfriend Randy want's himself and his family to live with Randy. Danny obviously has never liked Randy, as evident by the way he talks about his mom bringing home white guys, and how his dad always hated that. Danny has a major thing with race, he doesn't like white people in general due to the way his dad reacted to them, so he is also at conflict with himself. On top of that, you have his concept of family. For him, his Mexican family is his true family, and it is easy to see why. They are all very protective of him, Sofia extremely so, even threatening Uno if he ever tried to hit Danny again. That only increases Danny's dislike of his white side though, because then he feels like he has a family that is only protecting him because he's family but not because he truly fits in and is one of them. At the same time, he really likes this girl named Liberty, who speaks mostly Spanish but is half white, like himself. He is shy and quiet around her, and I think it's because they are alike in their race that he feels a special connection with her. Especially when he learns that her story is similar to his, a dad who she never see's but writes letters to, Except she is his opposite, a white dad and hispanic mom, only speaks Spanish like Danny only speaks English. This might only increase Danny's attraction, because they are alike except she reflects a side of him he wish he had. He wish he could speak spanish, he wished he was more Mexican like she is, he wished he had been raised by his hispanic half rather than his white half. But he feels like he has this loss of family with his dad leaving, like he doesn't belong in either hispanic or white world, that he's in the middle and not even part of either side of his family. Maybe that's part of the reason he tries so hard to be like his dad, so he can become more like his hispanic half and thus fit in somewhere within his family.
To switch to Uno for a moment, he also has a prejudice against the White community, that is mostly programmed by his dad. His dad tells him that the white media is basically what keeps him down, keeps him programmed to believe certain things. This is the beginning of a racism within Uno most likely, because Uno believes everything his Dad says is major wisdom, despite the fact his dad has a horrible past.

Tolerating Intolerance:

What was I feeling when reading this article? Anger, agitation, frustration. But that is mostly what I feel when faced with such a case of intolerance and supremacy. These are the things in society that anger me the most, because I was raised on the belief that no one is better than anyone else. But, at the same time, I do believe that the teacher did the right thing in allowing the guy's opinion to be stated in the classroom. While normally most people would nip this in the bud to prevent arguments or tension, I think by allowing him to be heard she showed that she will not too progress the stereotypes and stifling of one's opinion based on religion, beliefs, gender, etc. I believe she taught him a lesson of equality, and perhaps helped him better himself.

6/20/12:

Journal #3:

What is on my mind this morning is how different my writing is here in class vs. in my creative writing class at school. My flow is off here, maybe because it's a different environment or maybe it's the people. But mostly I think it's the lack of guarantee. In my creative writing, you go in there knowing you are going to have to share some of your darkest thoughts in that tclassroom. But you have the promise others will not judge you because they are presenting their same hidden emotions. Riddled in honesty, sprinkled with pain, in that class I have gotten more personal with my classmates than any other class. It is my favorite class despite some of its downfalls. Hopefully next year I will make editor, then I can really get the magazine going. That's one of the things I'm looking forward to next year, hopefully running that magazine.

Description Drawing:

First, draw a 2in horizontal rectangle, long side horizontal. On top of your rectangle, draw a triangle that rests with the base on top of and the same length as the original rectangle. At the top point of your triangle draw a squiggly line that moves in to the shape of a circle, starting and ending at the top point. Next, draw 7 squares in the triangle. One in the left and right bottom corner, one in the bottom middle. Draw 3 more above that, 1 on left side, 1 on right side, and 1 in the middle again. Make sure they do not touch sides of the triangle. Final square should go just below the top point and again not touching either side. Put plus signs in all the squares. On top of all the squares, where one line of the plus sign ends, draw two small circles on either side of the line, again on top of the squares.

Pages 100-150:

It's here that you see the friendship forming between Uno and Danny. It was kind of predictable that they would be friends, due to their similarities in being mixed and caught between two cultures, but it's a good kind of predictable. Uno and Danny immediately strike up a hustling deal using Danny's talent and Uno's skill of persuasion and his muscle. Danny agree's because Sofia told him how hard Uno is working to get the money to live with Senior (Uno's dad) and this really hit home with Danny because he too wants money to go see his dad. Though personally, I think his dad is already around. You have that guy who Danny thinks is a scout (due to his Padre's outfit) but always seems to be where ever Danny is. Uno and Danny think the guy is scouting Danny but I believe differently. To me it seems more along the lines of that the guy is Danny's dad, keeping his distance due to some reason to be revealed later. Maybe Danny's dad stays away because he is ashamed, because it is revealed in the book Danny's dad had a drug habit and a habit of fighting. Danny is not his dad though, which is really a good thing. He doesn't do drugs or fight, he is quiet and plays baseball. And he is a romantic, definitely. He has the hugest thing for Liberty, even when she just smiles at him he goes weak in the knees. It's pretty cute. Another reason he is not like his Dad, is because Danny isn't violent. Danny overhears a conversation between Sofia and his Uncle Tommy, talking about how his father used to beat his mom and that his dad got what he deserved, whatever it is.
Now, to move on and continue, Danny is realizing that his problem throwing balls outside of a practice field and against someone else is not because of his technique or form, but due to his mentality his control get's out of hand. Uno doesn't understand Danny's problems very well, why he is quiet, why his control get's out of hand, why he digs his nails into his skin. Uno looks at Danny as someone going very far, and he doesn't look at anyone like that really. It shows he has a major respect, and maybe a small bit of jealously over Danny's talent and possibly Danny's eventual success. Uno doesn't even feel good enough for Danny, like maybe he's the reason that Danny messes up, because he isn't a good enough catcher. Which is preposterous, but as mentioned, Uno holds himself to a lower level than he holds Danny.

6/21/12

Journal #4:

Today I'm thinking about how good it was to take a day off. I know I should be in class, or should of been in class rather, but I needed to rest. My stress levels are very difficult for me to manage. I feel my emotions stronger than most, I think. So when I don't get enough sleep, and then I'm working hard all day and coming home to do more work, it get's really really hard. I needed a day to sleep till the afternoon, to sit and read and watch TV and do the things most kids do during their summer. It was good to get a day to sit back and do what I needed to do to keep my mental health in check. I should work harder on managing stress, at handling my work, but between my work for driving class and the work for my writing class it hasn't been easy. I have had to work harder this summer than any other summer before, and since I have to work harder next year than any other year before, I really can't wait for all my classes to end and go on vacation. I really can't wait for the next 5 day's to pass until I can see the person who means the most to me, and then a day later see a friend I miss dearly. Hopefully after this class summer will be about getting a last bit of relaxation before hitting the books again.

Pages 150-200:

Uno figures out Danny's problem with hitting the ball in these next 50 pages. He realizes that Danny is trying to hard and "has to get himself out of the way." Once Danny does this, he starts hitting like he does when it's just Uno and himself. I think this show's while Uno may not completely understand Danny, their alikeness helps Uno understand some things that push Danny into his full potential. They begin hustling like crazy once they figure out the problem, making lots of money off people. Danny and Uno end up having lunch with Senior after a hustle, where Senior does something that amazes Danny. Senior see's that Danny is broken when no one else could. This changes my perspective a little on Senior. I personally thought he was a crackpot trying to be better than he really is. But when he see's Danny like that, well, he could still be a crackpot but it does slightly lessen the chances. It's interesting to see such a twist, and to see Danny gain respect for Uno's dad. Uno still holds Danny higher than himself, still see's Danny running off to the big leagues while he is stuck in the hood. Uno should hold himself to higher standards, but I don't entirely think he knows how.
Now we switch into a little romance. Danny and Liberty are dared to go outside and spend time together, but they can't speak the same language so it's a quiet sitting area, but you can really tell they both like each other a lot. It's cute, how they try to communicate. They use common words and hand signals to try and speak to each other. They are alike yet opposites. I really want them to work out. Especially since Danny can really open up to her, as he did even though she couldn't understand what he was saying.
Now we learn that Danny's mom isn't going to be living with Randy. Danny's mom has realized no man can make everything better and that what she really wants is her kids, not a guy. I think this is a great revelation, because the woman was way to crazy about Randy, to a point where it was lovestruck teen instead of clearly thought out adult love. Danny's mom has some issues she needs to work out, and we learn that is because Danny's dad hit his mom, which Sofia finally confirms to Danny. This messes Danny up a bit. He can't seem to buy the ticket to go see his dad, because he has a shattered image of him. Well, maybe not shattered, but cracked.

Movie Questions
Kayanna - In the airport, did the officers search him because he was distracted or because he was of a different race? Why was Khan's brother against the marriage even though they were raised by an accepting mother?
Aristeo - What you think Khan really wants to tell the president of the USA? Why do you think the other muslims did not pray with Rizvan on the bus?
Aubrey - Why do they presume that Khan is a terriorist? Why did Khan give $500 to a different religion(christian only event)?
Augusta - Why does he have such a hard time talking to people? Why are people so amazed by the way Khan prays?
Ivy - Why does he want to fly all the way to DC to tell the president that he was not a terrorist? Why was Mandira mad at her sister-in-law?
Julianna - How does autism affect someone's ability to communicate? Why was Khan willing to go through so much pain/struggle to tell the president that he was a not a terroist? Why was Mandira so mad at Khan after the killing and why does she leave him?
Josh - What is he playing with in the airport? Will khan be with his wife Mandira again?
Jonah - Why does Khan want to meet the president? What happens to the kids who killed Sam?
Alyssa - Why didn't Reese tell the cops about who killed Sam?
Sydney - Will Reeses ever tell the truth and regret?